Deletes and Keeps

After all, deleting texts messages, which I kept for years, was not that dramatic.

Last night, I suddenly lost my sentiments over the messages in my inbox.  For many years, I saved them still with blurred intention; hoarding texts perhaps, or possibly, I was afraid that their texts would be the last they would send me (ridiculous isn’t it?), or for practical reasons I once liked their quotes and trivias—in fact, most of the messages were just GMs (group messages).

Some texts though were not read most especially if they came from a person who sends quotes regularly almost every day and if the messages were all of the same genre.  Sometimes, messages teaching morals irritate me when I know the one who sends those doesn’t even have the guts to be morally conscious at all—it just doesn’t make sense.

Of course, I saved some that are worth the keep.  These are the messages that took part in my strength through the years, like the text from one of my professors “Di ka pumasa”, a text from a friend “good night pangga”, a text from a lady saying sorry for her being insensitive, etc.  The “di ka pumasa” (you did not pass) text made me bitter at first but I realized then that my efforts in my studies were not on its peak yet, from the moment I grasped the significance of that text, I started pushing myself more—also made me appreciate my capacity as an individual.  The “good night pangga” made me aware that I wasn’t alone at times I thought I was.  The message is from a friend far from my place but we still keep being connected through texts and calls.  I remember, that time, we were talking about our love problems and we shared each other’s opinions about relationships and more.  By the way, “pangga” means the one I care for.  The text apologizing for being insensitive was from a woman I once loved.  Actually, we both were insensitive and I, in addition, was being childish.  The text was a big slap that opened my eyes to the reality that I became too assuming for the affection I did not even deserve… well, sentiment’s over.  I just like to keep it to make sure I will not make the same stupidity again.

I felt relief afterwards.  I could not tell that it was as if nothing just happened, of course, something happened!  I deleted many, I kept some and I was happy. Maybe, something new will be sent to me for the next school year, I mean, more meaningful texts than the ones I deleted… or the contrary.  Whatever those will be, I will always be ready for it… either to delete or to keep.