Hannah

I always tell Hannah to read my posts with matters concerning almost anything or anyone but I have not directly made her a topic or a recipient (if letter).  This time, it will be her turn because I will try to tell something about her.

I hope she reads this (and she will!).

*****

We were classmates since first year.  We hardly talked to each other at first because she was so meek and we did not have things to talk about—I thought she was one of the “untouchable” geniuses in the class, so there was a notion that we might not understand each other or that she might be snobby.  In addition, before that, I was surprised to hear her for the first time in front of the class (self-introduction).  Her voice was hoarse and in a heavy alto, and she talked very fast (until now).  I do not hate people with hoarse timbres but when I hear anybody talking in that quality intentionally or unintentionally (like hers), my head starts to ache, so I keep distance; and with regards to her pacing, she sometimes doesn’t make sense, just sounds.

She is very conservative.  Her usual get up is long dark skirt and a sweater on top like Mandy Moore in one the movies or like “The Merchant” in Ragnarok series.  Moreover, her being religious adds up to her conservatism.  She keeps distance to men and she does not want to be touched by any.  Again, I am not against it—she is right.  Some verses in The Bible speak something about that.  She does not have a boyfriend (the last thing I know…) but she is not a man hater (there is only one man she hates most of the time)—she has crushes, of course, but her priority is straight… to study first.

We became close because of… I exactly do not know. Hahaha. The last thing I remember was that we were talking and laughing with friends, that she was asking me to teach her how to sing, and that we became group mates in several of our academic activities.  We are in one friends circle and this group has a weird mix of friends with different kinds of personalities—she is one of the weirdest (peace!).  Then she started asking me to review her on some of the lessons and then, in grammar and syntax problems (not that I am good at those but she thought I was smarter than her in that area).

She wondered, one time, about a thing I had not noticed… the smallest student in the class is one of the close friends of the biggest one.  Yes, she’s so small and I’m too big (in diagonal proportion).  Sometimes, it feels awkward when we walk together—it looks like father and daughter tandem. That’s quite an observation but the reason is simple, size doesn’t matter, intelligence does (I’m joking about the intelligence)—what matters is that we understand each other even though we oftentimes have different views of almost everything and I admit, I always have been a very frank and harsh critic to her (it’s for her good…haha palusot pre!).

Hannah shared me some characteristics, which I bet she hasn’t noticed for herself.  She taught me to be real.  The rationale is that, no one is perfect so no matter what you do, as long as it does not hurt anyone, yourself, and God, feel free to do it.  She also told me that quitting is not an option—we must accept the risk of doing what is right than fail because of not doing it.  She added, being positive is not suicidal.  Being positive means that if there is any chance to still prove something, grab the chance and do the best… and if nothing happens, being positive means accepting defeat and moving forward.

*****

Hannah,

I congratulate you for surpassing this almost five years of pain and hardships.  If you notice, I always encouraged you to move forward, yes, not because I wanted to give you false motivation but because I really believed in your perseverance and that, your fighting spirit is stronger than the hardships you are facing.

I know that you know what is right.  Oftentimes, we were blinded by the trials we faced and those trails made us weak, but you stood up against those challenges and you never gave up.  You took the responsibility of doing alternative things that made you better.  I salute you for that.

Things had been very strange to you when you entered in the institution, but you are now going out of it being a different person—a much stronger and smarter person.

Sorry for the times I hurt your feelings for my frankness.  I will not say that I did not mean it. I MEAN IT because I need you to know the different faces of people.  Like any other I know, you are still too weak to sense and read other persons.  There are those who will be nice to you but will stab you at the back, and there are those who will hammer you, grind you, and mold you face to face but will make you sharper than anyone.  Be sensitive to those people.

I guess things would be different knowing that you and Jerica would not be with us for the next school year.  I will miss our group for a while (because I know we will meet again).

Use all the wisdom you got in the future because the battle is not yet over.  This is just the beginning of a much greater adventure with much greater steeps and storms.  Just always remember that you are not alone—God is at your side.

I will pray for your success in the CPA licensure exam.  God bless you.