ASEAN Economic Integration Workshop

Last night, a friend messaged me saying that there would be a seminar for ASEAN Economic Integration today.  The first thing that came to my mind was certificate, certificate, and certificate. All I wanted, if I would attend, was to see my name printed in a formally decorated paper with signatures of the people who would take significant parts in the event: I so love the feeling of that.  Then, I finally decided to join without knowing what would happen there [considering, I had not thought of the food].

This morning, I went to the hotel alone.  I saw people.  With the look of their stances, I easily knew that they are professionals; all, businesspersons; some, managers, presidents, executives of their industries.  I was hesitant to register at first but I thought of my goal, certificate, and I thought of the transportation expenses I had in order to go there, so then I wrote my name thinking nothing except those.  Beside the name was a space meant for the industry where the participant belongs.  I have no industry so I wrote my school even though it would mean I am a professor of the school.

I was about to enter the event center when an unexpected friend came in. I was very happy that I was not alone with those old business people.  Together, we sat down at the center not far from the speakers’ area.  While we were waiting for the event to start, a thought came to me more than the want for a certificate.  I realized that I would learn more from the event.  The thought left me more excited for the activities, which we would undergo.

The event had started.  The first speaker was a judge from Davao City and her topic was "Strategic Planning".  She let us introduce ourselves one by one.  The format was, we say our name and our industry first, then, choose a letter from our name, make it a word representing our talent, characteristic, or skill that may help us have an advantage for ASEAN integration.  I chose A, for Accounting.  I said that proper accounting is one key advantage if we engage in any business transactions in the ASEAN integration.  Some said L for Loans, J for Joyful, C for Character, D for Diligence, and so on.

The next activity was by pair.  I chose a co-participant beside me.  He was friendly and very respectful. I haven't got his full name though.  The rule was, guide our partners through the path while they are walking blindfolded and then after five minutes, we switch and they do the same for us.  My partner was too hesitant to follow me.  His steps were in bits and too slow.  When it was my turn to be blindfolded, I was already confident because I already knew the path.  Even if I could not see the way, I was already confident with his instructions.

The second activity was forming a big “perfect” square using a long rope while we were all connected with each other, blindfolded.  It took us ten minutes to form the square.  Just two persons who were also blindfolded guided us. What we did was, we divided the whole by four and then the ends of each group stuck shoulder to shoulder perpendicularly and then each groups’ other members lined straight.  After ten minutes, we took off our scarves and surprisingly we did it—it was not perfect but substantially, it was a square.  The emcee noticed that the leaders sometimes peeked, then, she said something meaningful: “It’s okay to go against the rules, as long as it’s legal.”

After the delicious lunch, which they had provided, we started our third activity. It was the serious part.  We were divided in five groups.  Each group was given a topic to discuss and were ought to make a strategic plan for it.  Ours was the “cultural factors and effects” in conducting business considering other country members of ASEAN.  My group mates were all experts of their industries.  Their ideas were amazing.  They thought out of the box.  Their reasoning was so different from theories we read from books. After forty-five minutes of collaborations, we came up with our output and each group then presented their ideas in front.  I could not discuss any further because it was too technical.

On the last activity, the speaker asked us to stand up and face the north. None of us knew where the north was so we just faced anywhere.  Then the speaker concluded that we were all not ready for the ASEAN integration and that ended our first seminar goal—strategic planning.

The rationale of all the activities was that, engaging in the ASEAN integration, we are all blindfolded.  Making a strategic plan will be very risky if we do not know where we will be going. To have an advantage over this integration, we must prepare, study, and be sensitive to any changes it will bring us.

After ten minutes break, the second speaker took part.  He was a Registered Financial Planner and a speaker in one of the CNN Philippines segments regarding finances.  His topic was “Investing in ASEAN Setting”. I learned a lot from his lecture.  I learned that before one could invest, he should have the SPG—save, protect, and grow.

Save means that one should have adequate savings first.  The proper way of saving is that, every time the income or compensation gets in, ten to thirty percent of that should first go to you so you could budget the rest for your expenses.

Protect means life plans and emergency funds.  Aside from savings, some of your money should be invested for life insurance so that in case something happens to you, you and your family are secured.

Grow means investing in bonds and stocks.  After having your savings and protection plans, you are now ready to let go of your money for a long time and wait for likely returns.

There were so many lessons he shared more than the three key points but I could not tackle every points specifically.

The day ends with a dinner.  I almost forgot about the certificate but when I did remember, I asked the secretariat for it.  She said there was no certificate for the event. I was not surprised.  I even felt nothing, just happiness.  I did not care for the certificate anymore.  The experience was worth it.  I may not have a certificate, but I have enough pictures with me anyway.

I never expected to learn something new like that, so I promised myself to attend many seminars if I could [as a new year's resolution].

I went their aiming for less, I went home full of knowledge and experiences. Perhaps, ASEAN integration is like that: we may know less, but we may gain more.

You. You. You. by Kreyan

You are the apple of my eye
The mango to my pie
The because of my whys
And the one I’ll never say goodbye

Pero syempre joke lang ito bay
Malayong-malayo pa siguro tayo sa ganitong lagay
Kaya sa ngayon eto muna ang sayo'y aking maibibigay
Tugon sa hiling mong tula na sa iyo’y aking mai-aalay

Palagay ang loob ko sa iyo , di natin ‘yon maitatanggi
Para tayong pinagbiyak na bunga na pagkalakilaki (hahaha)
Madalas tayong nagkakaintindihan sa mga bagay na ating napaguusapan
Pareho pa tayo ng mga hilig nako meant to be nga naman… (lol)

Marami tayong pagkakatulad sa kahit anung larangan
Feeling ko nga pinagtagpo talaga tayo ni Lord para ako ay iyong ingatan
Ingatan lang pagkat di naman ako kailangang alagaan pa
Okay na sa’kin yung nanjan ka pag kailangan kita kahit bigla ka din namang nawawala

Para sa’kin ikaw yung tipikal na pwedeng guy best friend ko
Siguro nga close friend ka ng lahat kasi naman ang bait mo
Hindi mali, di ka mabait, approchable ka lang
Madalas ikaw pa yung nang aaproach kung kani kanino na lang

Palakaibigan ka lang siguro talaga and the heart to listen was there
The heart to listen was there even if you really didn’t care (haha)
Ang tanging pakay mo lang naman talaga ay ang makitsismis at makinig
At yung last part lang ang nakikita ng tao kaya sayo sila’y napapalapit

I understand that you are a witty person
Sa lahat at ano mang bagay ikaw ang may explinasyon
Sometimes I just don’t get what you try to make me understand
Pero umaakto akong nakakaintindi para matapos na ang usapan

Alam mo ba, if you don’t look like the way you look like now
And I don’t look like the way I look like now, I might like the thought of liking you?
Kanina ko lang naisip to kaya pagbigyan mo na ako
Nagrarhyme naman diba ‘tamo?
Ah basta pwede, baka , cguro, malamang balang araw, oo.
Basta sa ngayon, di ko pa alam, wala pa ako sa sarili ko, alam mo naman diba kung bakit bro?

Nakakatawa pero naisip ko din kanina
Na baka ikaw lang balang araw ang aking pag-asa
Pag naisipan kong tumungo sa tuwid na daan, gets mo naman diba? (haha)
Alam mo na ang ibig kong sabihin sa straight line oha?
Ah basta ang importante nanjan ka, tapos! wala ka ng magagawa..haha

Ikaw yung isa sa iilang tao na nakakakilala sa totoong ako
Di man tayo nagkikita alam kong naiintindihan mo ako
Alam ko na sa bawat pighati at saya ko, ramdam mo ako
Salamat kasi di mo’ko iniwan kahit nalaman mo ang totoo

Salamat sa pagtanggap sa’kin ng buong-buo
Salamat kasi mas pinili mong umintindi kesa husgahan ako
Salamat kasi madalas napapadama mo sa’kin na nanjan ka pag kailangan kita
Salamat kasi kakuntsaba kita sa mga kalokohan ko, ikaw na talaga...haha

Oh tama na masyado kanang natutuwa iho
Baka mainlove kana sa’kin nyan, wag muna jusko
Kailangan ko na munang tapusin to pagkat ako’y matutulog na
Salamat sa pagkakaibigan, wag mo’ko iiwan ha?

Good Old Magic Balls

I found a jar of magic balls in my old cabinet.  I remembered these were the collections of my sister when she was in high school.  She was fond of this collection believing these would multiply after soaking into the water. Unsurprisingly, it did not.

Well, I was thinking of making these balls a little interesting to look at so I came up taking pictures of these in different angles and compositions. Let's see what these turned out.

The balls turned out to be a good monitor wallpaper. Many said I did great and they like my shots.  What can you say?

Deconstruction Turned Epigram Construction

“…forget the old self and try to move forward and enjoy life.” – Pherry

"...never give up, and through it all, just stand up." - Janmarie

"...the sun is still shining." - Feanna

“…emotion sets the picture next to perfection” – Princess

"...sometimes shadows can conceal what light always reveals." - Angelita

"...we may be surrounded by darkness but if we just try to look around, there could be life." - Gemmema

"...that when life seems to be hard, just lift up your face and see the hope the light gives you." - Katherine

“…there is hope after despair and many suns after darkness” – Mary Joy

“…there's more to it than meets the eye.” – Alyyanna

“…there will always be a tomorrow to look forward to.” – Deo

“…despite of our miseries, struggles and sufferings today, there is hope that tomorrow will be another and a better day.” – Chen

“…life has never been meaningless even in the midst of darkness and tragedy.” – Lebirose

"...even if one feels that there is no chance for a change, there will always be a bit of hope that one could grasp or hold on to." - Janine

“…tulong na kinakailangan nya para umangat sa buhay at harapin ang bukas—sa madaling salita, PAG-ASA.” – Nathan

“…amidst darkness, suffering and the pressure of life that sometimes pushes us to curl and bend, if only we lift our heads, we can see the light that hovers above us.” – Kirsten

“…in every lonesome experience that we encounter, always expect that there is hope until there is life.” – Jeyvee

“…though we face hardships and we face darkness in our lives, there's always light that gives us hope that everything will be all right.” – Shane Jean

"...for as long as we live, we try to make the most out of what we can because that’s what matters most." - Honey

"...people usually are busy beautifying those areas in their life where everyone can see it, while great deprivation exist in those hidden areas that supposedly be the core of the entirety." - Shing

The Fall by Jenevie

This time, I will write a story
Something about love, something about you and me
I know it sounds so strange to be writing this one
But I will write about it coz I want to remember how it's done

The first time I saw you meant really nothing at all
But we became friends and that's when I knew I fall
There's just something in you that would make me forgot everything
Something that made me realize I was feeling this whole "LOVE " thing

We used to walk on the corridor side by side 
People were watching and I used to have this pride
Because someone like you walked with someone like me
Someone like you who, we knew, have been liked by many

You are someone everybody would fall for, its true
Pretty handsome, pretty cute, pretty kind and pretty cool
Smart, confident, strong and way far from being cruel
Too good to be true but baby its really you

You were the reason I smiled out of the blue
Why my heart burst out of happiness knowing I had you
Why I got plenty of chills whenever you were near
And why my world tend to stop when you disappeared

You are someone I wanna walk with everyday
Someone who would hold my hand when I thank God and pray
Someone I thought would never leave me alone
Who would take me to places I've never known

All those memories I've had with you
Were one of the best and you know its true
All the laughters and stories shared
Made me love you even more, I swear

I don't know how to end this and I don't want too
Coz honestly, I'm still hoping it would be me and you
That someday we would bump into each other and recall
The smiles, the laughter's, the love I've had for you and the FALL.

Depression

"Depression" is so underrated.

Do you have any idea what it’s like to not want to get out of the bed every morning, not wanting to go and deal with all the bullshit outside your room? Do you even know what it feels like to feel completely alone while you know there are millions of miserable people just like you? How about what it’s like to be completely repulsed by things you used to love?  To feel completely lost in the dark and not really knowing if there’s way out? To not have the strength to feel like you can make it through the whole day, let alone the next one, without breaking down? To not be able to explain how you feel at all? To have everyone constantly asking if you’re okay until it gets to a point where no one asks, making you wonder if they don’t notice or just don’t care?  To have no energy or drive to do anything? To feel completely worthless? To hate who you are and how you look? To feel like you have control over nothing? To know you don’t belong? To feel trapped inside a world full of ugly things but being scared of what's on the other side? To be hurting constantly? To know there’s no one to save you from the way you feel?  To know the only one who’s really hurting you is yourself?

[I got this from an online course in psychology.]

A Better Left Unspoken Feeling

When I see you, the world stops

—my world stops.

It stops and all that exists for me is you

and my eyes staring at you,

nothing else:

no noise, no thoughts, no worries,

no yesterdays, no tomorrow.

I see that my world is a beautiful place…

and it's becoming more beautiful 

every time I see you."

Twenty-five Sprinkles of a Familiar Unforgotten Feeling

1. I was already inside the jeep when she walked toward us.
2. She entered the jeep and all I could see was her entering the jeep—nothing else.
3. She sat down nine seats away and did not notice me at first.
4. I was looking at her the whole time.
5. Then, for the first time, she saw me staring at her.
6. Our eyes met and it felt like the world stopped.
7. Her eyes glittered and I wished she could not see the obvious spark in my eyes.
8. She smiled and waved hello. 
9. I replied a smile and a friendly nod.
10. I pretended I was doing something with my phone to break the aura of her and me.
11. After a while, I started looking at her once more.
12. To my surprise, for the second time, she again noticed me staring at her.
13. Then, she enthusiastically said that their theater play would be next week.
14. I asked the title of their play.
15. She said the title but I could not hear it nor could I read her lips.
16. She said better if I look into their tarp next time I drop by.
17. I still could not hear her but her lips told me so.
18. I eagerly nodded and said thanks.
19. She noticed that she already reached her place.
20. She walked toward the door and everything was in slow motion.
21. Then she stopped in front of me.
22. She tapped my knee, smiled, and said goodbye.
23. I smiled and uttered my response but she already walked past me.
24. But I know she heard me.
25. And she smiled walking away.

"Do you [I] exist?"

The feeling that you do not exist
Is the most hurting feeling you could bear
In your school, your workplace, even in your home

The feeling of not being recognized
Is the worst feeling you could feel
Even if you're humble enough to accept it

The eyes that look you in disgust
How you wish not to feel these
But you can’t help but notice…

Diagnosis : "Complex and Delusions"

Caution: knowing about these things will make you see them everywhere, even in the mirror.

If I were to diagnose a person who displays extreme antisocial behaviors to the extent that everyone in the organization is dramatically affected, I would give him these personality issues:

Definition of Terms:

a.     Antisocial behaviors – actions that demonstrate lack of concerns for the interests and needs of the organization and its members; purposeful, norm-violating behaviors of organizational members, which have the potential to damage the organization and/or its constituents.

b.    Compulsive – somebody whose actions are driven by a usually irrational psychological force;

c.     Delusions of Grandeur – gross and false overestimation of personal worth, importance, powerfulness, or attractiveness;

d.    Egocentric – interested only in personal needs and wants, and not caring about other people;

e.    Envy – the resentful or unhappy feeling of wanting somebody else's success, qualities, or possessions;

f.      Insecurity – anxious and lacking in self-confidence;

g.    Megalomania – an excessive enjoyment in having power over other people and a craving for more of it;

h.    Narcissism – excessive self-admiration and self-centeredness;

i.      Pride – a haughty attitude shown by somebody who believes, often unjustifiably, that he or she is better than others;

j.      Primary Psychopathy – a disorder where a person is characterized as manipulative, lacking of remorse or guilt, lacking of empathy, and having a feeling of grandiosity;

k.     Schadenfreude – having pleasure in somebody else's misfortune or downfall.

l.      Self-serving bias – putting personal concerns and interests before those of others;

m.   Superiority Complex – an exaggerated sense of being better than other people;

Life-size Hypothesis:

1.    It all starts from the developed confidence and pride because of the acquired achievements and recognitions over the years.

2.    Because of weak emotional [and moral] foundation, the pride becomes more personal; there follows narcissism and delusions of grandeur.

3.    Overtime, delusions become more concrete and pervasive; hence, superiority complex develops.

4.    A person having superiority complex is sensitive to insecurities—egocentric.  He/she doesn’t want others to be ahead of him/her; and if so, he/she will have an extreme thirst to make the ones ahead go down.  In some cases, a person may spread rumors about the organization, the job, and coworkers just to satisfy his/her ego.

5.    In some instances, he/she is bias in serving himself/herself—if something goes wrong, he/she will say “It’s others’ faults [hindi sila marunong] [sila, sila, sila]”; if good things happen, he/she will say “I did that. I am the best [ako ako ako][at ang iba, hindi marunong].”

6.    He/she hates failing [I mean, he/she doesn’t admit failing] because for the same reason, he/she thinks that other people do what he/she does to them (see number 5).

7.    He/she finds pleasure from others’ downfall but he/she doesn’t want others to see him/her having a hard time [because again, he/she thinks that other people think what he/she thinks].

8.    If these things will continue to happen, the person will be used to these and he/she will desire [megalomania] for more.  Empathy and guilt will be overridden and soon he/she will become a complete psychopath.

Remedy:

Should you know someone who has these personality disorders and issues, strongly advise him/her to consult a life coach or a psychiatrist. Please.

Disclaimer:  No specific person is described here…hehe ;) 

In My Singleness by Annie

Too often, when I happen to bump into with long-time-no-see “friends”, I am always victimized by questions like “Kanus-a ka mag minyo, Ann?” or “May uyab ka na, Ann?”  I just smile and humbly say, “Wala pa po.”

I just could not understand why these people tend to stereotype women in my age: that we should already be in a relationship or be married.

Rushing into a relationship my dear friends, just to tell you, is pointless.  I was once in a relationship where one cannot even visit you; cannot make an effort to know you and your family; and is never proud of you or doesn’t even know your worth. As a result, you end up devastated, rejected, and shattered.

*****

I have decided not to date after the break up.  I need to prepare myself to someone whom God set aside for me and to nurture myself to become the right person to the one who truly deserves my love.

Maayo na lang jud, my family and close friends don’t make me feel inadequate in my singleness. They support my “hulat-hulat” virtue and they pray for me as well, that someday, I would finally meet the right man.  They always remind me not to settle for less—to set a higher standard, which includes choosing the person who loves and fears the Lord.

In my singleness, I can say I am happy.  I am given the chance to be me—to know more about God and myself.  I want to rekindle further my relationship with Him that was unnourished over the past years.  I aspire to focus on things I want and wish to do always—cycling, teaching, pursuing my MBA, having my dream job, obtaining a driver’s license, and traveling around the Philippines and across countries.

I think I still have so much to learn.  For now, I will fervently pray and be patient for the one. Who knows? :)

Clash Confessions 1 : "The Swap"

If you think you know everything… you’re wrong.

The chairperson of the faculty, upon her authority, chose to group highly competent registered enrollees to be on her section (Block A); and the not-so, to her rival instructor (Block B).  This Block A, as she described, was comprised of valedictorians, entrance scholars, honor rolls, achievers, or anyone she knew who came from a known school, while Block B, as she assumed, was composed of the “normal ones”, the untouchables, or the unknowns—or anyone who came from an unfamiliar academe.

The chairperson furnished the list every day without any thorough deliberation with her rival.  After all, they rarely talked to each other.

The D-day of the final lists came and it was time for her to encode the two blocks to the university computer system.  Being unaccustomed to the new information system (complicated that was), she accidentally swapped the blocks.  Hers now was Block B, and to his rival, Block A.

Into her frustrations, she decided to share her blooper to her co-faculty members and that started the impressions—that the Block A was the star class and the crème de la crème, and the Block B was the “unreliables”, the clowns, and the chaos.

Some professors bore these impressions sarcastically and these affected some of the classes especially in the second semester.  The two blocks were incessantly compared and obviously, the B got all the flaws.

Perhaps the chairperson was right.  Based on the screening for second year, almost all who passed through were in A.  Luckily, at least, the blocks became one during the second year.  The impressions somehow were eased off, but the pressure, for all, had just started…

Over Filmmaking Whys and Wherefores

1

They asked me to help them with their script for Human Elective short film project.  I loved to help but I then remembered how things went through during my time.

Five over fifty of the stories written were chosen to be made a short film.  One of those was mine.  The writers—would be group leaders—were called in front and the classmates were given their free will to whose writer they would want to be with.

The ones I expected to join me approached a different writer.  At that moment, I thought that maybe I was not that trustworthy for them to put their confidence in my written story [screenplay], or perhaps they did not find me competent to become their leader.  Yes, that was it.  Then I noticed some of them were the ones who always underestimate me; some were the ones who really think I am under them; and some were those who just go with the flow [mga hipon].  I could still remember the look of their faces—the envy, the bitterness, the burn—merely because my story was chosen.

Suddenly, I realized that I was not alone, for some of our new classmates joined me.  I was touched to know that even though we did not know each other, they still came to me [or maybe they had no choice].  I first thought it would be hard to handle them because, of course, we were new to each other.  I took the unfamiliarity as an advantage and as a challenge.  They didn’t know me well and all they saw was that I was huge and strict and steadfast [yes, I’m huge but I’m neither that strict nor that steadfast… if only they knew]—and that’s it… a way to control them.

My priority was to my actors.  I took the responsibility to direct and edit because I believed that no one could interpret what I have written better than me—considering I have an extensive knowledge about people empowerment, editing, and photography.

The meetings and the shootings went by and I was satisfied about our efforts.  The bad news was our professor had a very diminutive contentment over our output.  He commanded us to edit this and that: to change the angle, settings, and whatsoever, but I did not consider anything he said.  I fought for what I believe is artistic and more independent.  I also considered the schedules of my members. They were having difficulties dealing with their major subjects and I could not risk some of their time just to spend for a minor [pamajor] subject.

There came a point where I thought our film was inferior to others.  First, my editing software was the simplest. Second, some of my actors were the “shy type”.  Third, we did not have an HD camera.  Uniquely, only our film showed a documented interview of the real person I subjected in my story—our edge.  I finished the movie still with some doubts and yet I just believed that the judges would grasp the beauty of what I wanted to picture out.

Luckily, our professor was not one of the judges [if he was, I’m dead].  He favors his stories. Some groups followed his suggestions to the point that the whole movie was all that he suggested—a clear reason why he hated mine.

The day of the event came and we all displayed our films to many audiences.  While other movies were rolling, my confidence level went up because some of the other groups’ works were garbage.  We may have a cheap editor; so what?  Others have cheap ideas.  A drama should be dramatic, not a laughingstock.  A love story should be a story of love not a music video or a shampoo commercial.

The judges found and appreciated the important elements in my movie.  I had not expected anything from my output but when I saw them clap their hand after my film, I felt a sense of fulfillment.

My group got almost all of the awards: best cinematography, best screenplay, best musical scoring, best picture, best director, best scriptwriter, and to my actors, best actor and best supporting actor.  I still have not received the certificates until now.  Well, I don’t care.  After all, I always don’t care about credits or grades [they do not precede].  I’m more of self-actualization and furtherance than physical rewards.

Many were very happy for me but some, after that, were eyeing me with eyebrows raised. I again felt their envy, their bitterness, their burn and one added… their regret—regret of not joining me in the first place perhaps. Then I heard some muttered “huh dili bitaw na major” “gimajor jud niya ang hum elec oh, BSA major in Hum Elec.hahaha” even though we all knew we spent our efforts and did our best to be recognized.  In fact, some devoted time, money, and effort more than I did—it’s just that, I did better.  Truly, insecure people will see differently no matter how well you do things, most especially if they do not expect you to do better than them.  That was then I realized I was right.  They left me; I pushed myself; I proved something and I nailed it.  I did it on my own—yes, I was right.

*****

2

Because of my experience, I also want others to discover their talent: that everyone is given a chance to show what they can do for their own betterment.  That’s why I refuse to help hands on to anyone who asks, but my doors are not closed to those who want my advice.

Well, aside from the technicals, people are the key—directors, scriptwriters, cinematographers, editors, and of course, actors.

Actors’ empowerment is the most important consideration in directing.  The director should see to it that every role, whether big or small, should flourish on each rendition.  I don’t mean to say that everyone must be emphasized.  What I mean is that a supporting role should be highlighted as supporting the lead role, as well as the lead role should be seen as leading.  In my time, I let my actors craft their own interpretation of the role and made them explain the core of every sequence.  In this way, I empower the uniqueness of the actors’ perspectives on how they will carry their roles.  Remember, no actor is the same, no role is equal: every act is unique. In addition, the directors should have the eye for what’s beauty and what’s better because the whole act will depend on his subjectivity.

A good scriptwriter is not thinking how to write but instead, imagining what to write.  This person must have a good imagination on how he describes every character’s emotions through writing.  Dialogues are the hardest to make because the writer must place himself in every character.  “If I were the father, what would I feel? If I were the mother, how should I act? If this is the situation, what will I do?  If I were in this position, how will I move on? What will I say if he tells me this?” So then, an extensive research, internalization, and emotional wisdom are needed to satisfy the scenes—most especially when the attitude of the character is far from the personality of the writer.  I remember when I wrote my script, it took me one day to finish one sequence because I needed to internalize on a scene where a person is verbally degrading someone.  Writers must also consider practicality in wordings—not too flowery and not too overly delivered: just the natural flow.

Cinematographers and editors must work hand in hand.  They are the magicians of movie making.  They make things possible by placing special effects.  They make the moment live or dramatic by inserting the right sounds and music.  They see patterns, rhythm, time, and connections.  Patience is the key.  You get to work day and night just to cut and cut and cut and connect and create and then edit again and again.  Having a good editing software helps.  My editing software, as I said, is the simplest and frankly the cheapest that was why I had a grave difficulty in editing—especially in placing background music.  That time, I concede that I could not get the best editor award.

The actors are the players. It’s up to the actors how they will handle roles through character sketching and internalization based on the instructions given by the director.  It is also important that actors should know their position as the ones who respect and follow the ideas of the director—no to bolshie actors.

Filmmaking is fun.  It will be more effective if people are willing to be the persons mentioned above.  More than the stories, more than the facilities, people are the most important.

The JPIA Week, The Acquaintance Party, and all the Fuss [Fun]

July 9, 2014—I had my JPIA oration competition for the third time since I started competing two years ago.  I was confident that I would win but I doubted the judges’ competencies on how they would subjectively base their ratings using the criteria. I believed that they were not the right ones to judge.  One of them was a president in a campus organization; the other one was a debater in a different college; and the last one was a professor.  I didn’t mind the professor; but the org president? I was sure he did not know orating or any speaking acts.  In addition, the debater seemed believing a different genre of speech—he always closed his eyes during each delivery—as if the deportment and interpretation were not important.

We did our best and the competition ended a success [at least].  Everyone was excited to hear the results except me—just because again, I was not confident about the judges’ know-hows.  Good thing they decided to announce the winner on acquaintance party.  At least I had two fine reasons to attend; first, because it would be my last [I’m graduating], and second, the result. But I remained undecided.

*****

July 11, 2014—I finally chose to attend the party… not mainly because it would be my last and definitely, as I realized, not because of the result, but because of my friends.  I sometimes thought that, well, maybe, they would want me to come because I have a camera, and I always am willing to take photos.  Yes, perhaps that was it, but I did not mind.  I was sure that I would enjoy being with them and I was not wrong at some instances.

I really enjoyed the party.  The food was fine; the ambiance was lively; and the activities, though I had not participated in any, was frenzy.

I made new friends and found a new inspiration. She’s… no, not here—maybe for my next posts.

No need for many words to describe the fun… just fun.

Why are We Sociologists? by Hope

Unknowingly, we think like sociologists.  Sociologists never assume anything unless proven by immense evidences.  Here are some instances persons apply this kind of attitude:

Courtship.  A woman does not anticipate something from a man unless the man is showing everything to prove his love for her.  In the same manner, a man may assume that a woman would love him back in return because the woman is showing signs of liking him.

Gossiping.  Oftentimes we talk about somebody because we judge him/her with what we hear from other people. Then afterwards we realize that these are just opinions and in some cases, are completely wrong.  Sociologists are ready to commit mistakes. Every time we hear gossips, we are also open to the possibility that those are nothing but rumors created by some persons.

Curiosity.  We are sociologists if we ask more questions.  Digging deeper towards a certain situation makes us one of them. 

We are sociologists because we think weird and wonderful. Like for example when watching TV shows, we come to realize that the show is not giving us fun but also bias for other people and races. We think it’s not entertaining anymore. We just don’t watch the person or the characters on a certain show just because they have beautiful body but we are being considerate with what we can learn from it.

We live on a planet that is compound but we need to embrace its complexities and differences in order for us to understand it. We will be able to find out that the cause of broken marriages does not only circulate on a certain reason or its rates make sense in all situations; or that the economic recession can cause higher rates of unemployment. The world can be complicated and so can sociological explanations.

March 10, 2013

What you think, you are.

Depression is one of the leading causes of failure among students nowadays. Oftentimes, this starts from misconceptions, erroneous beliefs, and expectations in life—negativism. Psychologist Aaron Beck sorted out these thoughts into following:

All-or-nothing thinking.  There are no grays; everything is either black or white, as, for instance, a student who thinks that 3.00 in a list of 1.00 makes him a failure.

Overgeneralization.  Because of one bad experience, you expect nothing good to happen.  Because you failed in one quiz, you thought you’d flunk the whole course.

Automatic discounting.  Everything good is treated as due to chance, as in Filipino way of saying tsamba lang when congratulated.

Magnification and minimization.  You magnify your weakness and minimize your strengths, as teenagers dwelling on one small pimple and letting it ruin their whole day.

Should statement.  Rather than doing something spontaneously, you focus on the should’s, as in “I should study because I do not want to fail,” rather than focusing on the joys of learning itself.

Personalization.  When something bad happens, you feel it is your entire fault, as in the student who wails, “It’s all my fault!” when it rains during outdoor programs.

Mind-reading.  You assume that others look down on you even without checking it thoroughly, as in “I will not try out for singing contest, since the judges will never like my voice anyway.”

The most effective way to prevent these paradigms is to engage in cognitive thinking—to change these beliefs in order to prevent irrational thoughts that can cause depression.

Adapted

Smiles

A priest shared a lesson in one of his lectures. He said that there are three kinds of smiles in each one of us. The first is the smile of gratitude. It is the smile representing our thankfulness to God and to the persons who brought us to who we are. The second is the smile of dreams. It is the foundation of our aspirations—this smile tells us to dream high. The third and last smile is the smile of hope. It is the smile that makes our dreams come true—the smile that aims to fulfill the smile of dreams.

We ought to bear these smiles every day. However, not everyone notices them—not everyone understands. Some people are not aware that these smiles just rest inside them because they are very busy worrying over irrational things. The best and only way to nurture these smiles is to seek peace with God, to endeavor to be happy, and to love endlessly.

Spread the smiles. :)

Binukot

Maxim Since

A man once said, “There are two options you can choose when you wake up; to sleep and dream again or to rise and change your dream.” People may think of several ways how to decide on these two alternatives but wisdom would tell you to take the latter—nonetheless of course, it always depends on the person bearing his life how he manages it.  Here are some maxims a person may have to rise up every waking moment of his life.

Faith in God. First thing every morning before rising, pray and say out loud “I believe!” three times.  God grants us the courage not to part from our aspirations even in the middle of hardships.

Faith in oneself. Great things happen only if one believes that he can exhaust his maximum capacity.

Determination. Persons who find ways for themselves will always attain endless opportunities. If they cannot find opportunities, they make them.  The ones who keep trying achieve most of the important things in the world.

Focus. A man of focus is never discouraged by difficulties.  He redoubles his diligence and perseverance until infallibility prevails.

Discipline. It is not just about finishing your job on time—it is also about leading proper life.  People create their own success by ascertaining what they need to learn.

Inspiration. “Dance like nobody’s watching. Love as if you have never been hurt. Sing as if no one hears you. Live like it is heaven on earth.”

Whatever path a person may take, he may have these maxims to be his guide as he faces life.

What’re yours?

Questions One Should Try to Answer

1. If you could go back in time -- and never come back, what point would it be, and why?

2. Should the prophecies be right and you’re the last one standing, what will you do, and why?

3. Should you be given an opportunity to cast a final and executory rule to all nations, what would it be, and why?

4. Should the day come that you lose your voice -- and never have it back, who would you talk to for the last time, and why?

5. If you were given the sole power to change something, what would you change, and why?

6. If you could take the place of somebody famous for a day, who would it be, and why?

7. Why do some people love more than one person at a time?

8. How do mysteries arise and what should be done to solve them? 

9. How could people overcome worry and what should they do to alleviate them?

10. If you could speak to someone you’ve never spoken to -- and never again, who would it be, and why?

11. What distinguishes talent from skill?

12. What makes a person successful?

13. When is being unconventional mostly admirable?

14. What constitutes the privacy of somebody famous?

15. What makes sunset beautiful?

July 2, 2012 Adapted

Harassed

I did not expect our topic last night would make me worry for her this much—also made me angry for a person I do not even know personally (and if I do, heavens forbid what I could do).

I called my friend out of boredom and we first talked about wattpad, songs, icebreakers, and job seeking.  After a while, the subject got serious when I opened something about what she told me last time—I said I was curious what happened to her and to her friend-slash-lover-slash-assumer, why she decided not to entertain him anymore, and why she’s already keeping distance to him. She hesitated at first but then she confessed something I have not thought for once.

*****

One night, the latest incident, she attended a slumber party with friends in one of their friend’s boarding house.  It wasn’t really a party at all, just a gathering with some old colleagues inside one of the rooms. There, also, was her “friend” [let us call him her “friend”, with (“ ”)].  While all of them were just talking, enjoying the matters, suddenly her pervert “friend” leaned forward toward her and attempted to kiss her lips, but she covered them before they hit his.  This maniac made his way to her cheeks down to her neck instead even though she was already edging movements to avoid him.  This man did not stop his attempts and made his hands maliciously caress around her sensitive parts.  She startled but abled to push the guy away. She slapped him then cried as she hurriedly left the room.

I squeezed information further.  I have discovered that it was not the first time she was harassed by this erotic guy.  There was one time when she was taking a bath, the lights went out (she knew someone turned it off) and she was late to realize that she forgot to lock the door. Someone entered—her “friend”.  This maniac said something like, “Kita lang diri. Ano, gusto mo himuon ta?” (It’s just the two of us here.  You want to do it?).  She cried aloud and her board-mates ran toward the room.  Immediately, the maniac went out of the bathroom leaving her still startling.  Her other male board-mates scolded her “friend”.  He said he was just making fun of her… and the fuss just ended there (I could not believe how it just ended there!).

Once, while she was studying, she heard someone sniffing.  She glanced under the table and found out that it was her itchy “friend” smelling in between her legs almost touching his nose to her thing. He just laughed and said it smelled like citrus.

There was a time that her roommates asked her “wala ka may nabatyagan?” (haven’t you felt anything?).  They said that there were times that the guy was touching her parts while she was sleeping.  My friend left the issue undisclosed hoping that a change on him would somehow happen.

One day, she was on her bed.  His “friend”, who had just finished bathing, walked near her.  He almost flashed his part in front of her but my friend managed to close her eyes.  Her lewd “friend” forcedly held her hand wanting it to touch his part, but she vigorously compelled—then he stopped, without any traces of shame on his face.

These mentioned are just some of what this lewd ill-mannered person did to her but these are more than enough for an elaboration to make me disgust for this guy.

*****

Know that this debauched pervert was always saying apologies after doing those things [or better say, after failing to do his malicious intents] and his only excuse was that he was just making fun of her (talk to the marines, man!).  Know also that she was always [very] angry every time he was doing those to her, BUT she was always forgiving him for the grounds that they are friends and she loves him.  Yes, she loves him—I never believed that love could make a person stupid, not until I heard all these.  How unfortunate she is to fall for a libidinous person who knows nothing but carnally molest and take advantage over her knowing that she fancies him.  What I hate most is that, all this time, he pretends to be a gay (what the… for once, I wish I had an extensive vocab of bad words!).

One miserable part is, their board-mates hadn’t said anything to rebuke the guy because they supported their tandem.  Maybe it is just normal for her board-mates to see those malicious gestures. I bet they all have experiences, but still they should be sensitive enough not to tolerate the guy’s lasciviousness.  This is not about open-mindedness—this is about respect.

In their case, the guy doesn’t have the right to touch her—they’re not even in a relationship.  This pervert just assumed carnal affection and as I said earlier, he was just taking advantage—such a douchebag!  My friend is admittedly still not ready for any intimate relationship and of course, also not for make-outs.

*****

Best thing I admire about her is that she never gave in to the lure of the situations.  It somehow eased my worries when she said that the guy never got her all the way.

Before we almost ended our talk, she asked me one thing; what if he comes back, asks forgiveness, and offers friendship again, should she accept it?

My answer is very simple: NO! She may forgive, yes, but must never forget. She must learn instead and ignore accepting friendship again.  I know this will be hard for her, but then she must remember the entire trauma she had.  If that man could do such things [such erotic, wanton, and lewd things], even time can never change his malignity—and may God hinder what worse could happen.  Take my words for that!

*****

Dear friend,

If you read this, know that it hurts me to write all these.  I just could not contain my worries and rage that even my tears could not alleviate them—so came the writing.   It hurts me to imagine what you had been through all this months, years, and I didn’t even know all about these until just last night.  The one I care for was being abused then what do you expect me to react huh? Does he know you?! Does he feel what you feel?! Does he love you the way I [we] do?! NO!  Of all the trust you gave to him, he just reciprocated you indecency.  Believe me, he doesn’t understand you.  I don’t care if he’s your first love—if it never dies, bury it alive as some say. He doesn’t appreciate your feelings—for most, he doesn’t even know how to respect you as a friend, as a lady, as a sister, as a human. You are not a toy… you are not a pig!  So many other persons love you unconditionally.  YOU DON’T NEED HIM!

Take care, please—at least not for me or for other people, but for yourself.

May 12, 2014