Why not?

They asked me why had I not attended this year’s annual JPIA acquaintance party—thankful somehow that at least some bothered to ask.  Yet, I could not tell my reasons because I myself could not put into words what I wanted to say, to reason out.  Perhaps what I think about parties is different from them and that they will not understand me if I speak my truth.

Now, I will try to write what my heart speaks—as always.

The reason why my friends attended acquaintance party was that this year is their last year in college.  Yes, they wanted to cherish the moment and that is normal.  Some told me that at least in their last year, I could join them celebrate acquaintance party.  However, I am not good in group sentiments. I would rather keep my emotions to myself and write.

For me, parties like this are very deceiving.  Of course, we expect to see smiles—happiness and enjoyment.  These are not the real things.  Memories are not always with smiles showing how important your friends are in a night of enjoyment.  Will this one night of happiness replace the five years of nostalgic experiences that were far better worth cherishing?

Others think that they are nothing to me but it is the complete opposite.  I am nothing to them.  Yet, every moment from the time when we started being classmates all marked in me.  There were times of misunderstandings and selfishness but more were times of acceptance, friendship, and empathy.  Whatever those may be, I know, deep in my heart, that nothing will I ever forget—for everything, I know, helped me become who I am.

Being Positive (A Re-post)

By Vanessa Rhie Bidad

I've been reading through the story of Moses wherein he grew up watching the oppression of his people in the hands of the Egyptians. At that time, he felt certain that he was the one to deliver them from the oppressors. In righteous indignation, he started to right their wrongs. But after killing one of the Egyptians, he fled from the palace where he grew up and went to live in Midian where he worked as a shepherd - fed sheep and tend to them - for 40 long years.

When God led me to this passage, I found myself in Moses. In the beginning, Moses had realized that he was the one to deliver the people, but he had to be trained and disciplined by God first.

We may have the vision of God and a very clear understanding of what God wants, and yet when we start to do it, there comes to us something equivalent to Moses' forty years in the wilderness. In my case, my forty years in the wilderness will have to be the tons of readings I have to do everyday; the nervousness I always have every time the professor enters the class; the failure of not answering the questions even if you had stayed up during the night reading your book. There are a lot of times I felt my eyes weary and my brain drained.

I had the vision of what God wants me to do with my life. But it's as if God has ignored the whole vision. But I am certain, someday He will come back. Just like He called Moses back after 40 years, God will revive His call. Even when I am discouraged and even when I doubt myself, I know for certain that one day I will hear Him call, "I am who I am who sent you." 

He is who he is who sent me. This is how God disciplines. He is teaching me to keep with his stride. Indeed, discouragement will lead to a great personal growth ahead. Kakayanin!