From the Heart... (an edited repost)

PAIN..
SORROWS..
HARDSHIPS..

These are some of the things that causes my heart to break..
Things I would wish does not exist..
The things I hope to vanish..

They say love conquers all things..
Including HATRED, BITTERNESS AND IMPERFECTIONS..
But how could it be that love seems not enough for our dreams to be reached?
I've been here several times..
Rejected over and over again by people who serves as a ladder to what I want to achieve in life.
It hurts so much to realize that what I am doing is not enough..
I've been pushing myself so hard..
So hard that I could not even think what would I be if things didn't work out..

And then things happen..
A nightmare we keep on wishing not to become a reality..
Something that could ruin our dreams, our future, or worst- our lives..

Some people may not understand how we feel..
But there are also people, though do not have the faintest idea, still give their time to listen, care, and extend their love and support  no matter what...
People who promised to love us despite the disappointment we gave them.


Maybe love cannot directly help us reach our dreams.. But it could be an instrument, a drive we can hold on to to keep us holding on and try some more to reach our dreams..
It makes us strong, fearless, happy, optimistic, and blessed despite the sorrows and failures we are going through..


The love these people shared to us..definitely conquers all things.. :)



TO ALL THE PERSONS WHO BELIEVE IN ME..THANK YOU SO MUCH.. GOD BLESS YOU ALL THE TIME..
SPREAD MORE LOVE,., IT HELPS.. :)




#GODISGOODALLTHETIME

Ravenessence  says:  This monologue was first posted by my friend in her Facebook account.  I have her permission before I re-posted this here.

Text

Waiting for that text…

Though am hoping not to receive it…

That text will surely set me free but will also set me down…

So now, I’ll try not to think of it…

Week Before Exams

It has been a long time since I accepted that I am not smart compared to my classmates (though I know I must not be comparing), but the pain is still here now that I am again experiencing failure in my subjects.  I come to ask myself, am I not worthy for this course? Am I not capable of showing what’s stored in me? Or am I that dull that even I study so well, I still fail?  All I hear in college is that smartness is not important, hard work matters.  But as time goes by, I come to realize every time I fail that that is not the real score here.  The ones exerting too much effort are the ones capable of understanding every single detail of what they are reading.  That doesn't work in me.  I noticed every time I study, it takes me more time to understand and memorize the concepts.  I am so pathetic.

Until now I still do not know the answers to my own questions.  But I know, only I can answer those and only God knows how to ask rightly.  Only God knows the exact answers.  If I ask my friends, surely they’ll just comfort me with their words.  I long for the truth that I already know.  I still want those lies just to boost myself though (or just kid myself).

Often in my solitude, I find my solace; but now my subjects bother me a lot.  I do not know what to do.  I cannot afford to fail again.  I am afraid.  I am so afraid of rejection, even now I feel rejected. The final exam is my last and only chance to pass.

All I want in life is to become a better person.  All I need is my family and my friends.  But now, I feel so damn.  The pain inside me clutches me.  No one cares.