These
coming days, I may not mind the pain of failing the subject, maybe because I’m
at home feeling secure… I am at home far away from other people—from my
classmates. But I know for the coming months and years I will gradually
feel the regret of not exerting much of my time in my subjects—of not exerting
much effort (have I not exerted much of it?).
For
how many times did I say I am fine since the result came out, but I always come
to the point that I realize I am just kidding myself. I thought letting
myself believe that it’s okay makes it feel easy, but no… thanks to a friend
who said that this is a process; I need to let this burst for a time but
I also need to stand and continue. Now I feel and realize that moving
forward is not that easy and letting go is always bitter. I just want to
believe that this will make me stronger. (I just want to believe) that
this is an eye opener… that God really has a purpose for letting me carry this.
I
know I need to instill in my mind that the chance was not meant for me.
I
am very thankful for having parents who understand me although I know it’s also
heavy for them seeing me like this. I know it’s hard for my father to
know that I’ll extend extra year.
No
one knows what I really feel but one thing is for sure right now, heaven knows
how embittered I am. The only thing I have is the thought that I want to
have this post.
No comments:
Post a Comment