One Love by Kreyan

I would never regret meeting you,
Even if I know where this path would lead us two.
For more than the pain that these whole thing put us through.
You are someone I know who's worth all the husle.
The world may throw me several why’s and how’s,
May question the love with you I think I found.
Do know my dear that with you, I’ll stick around
No matter what unfolds in this future of ours.
For even if the future would lead us to an end,
You are someone I would always love truly, my friend.
You are my love under the moonlight by the sea,
You’re my one true love even if I know its not meant to be.

My Accomplishments

I accepted the job thinking of helping more people [aside from getting higher salary].

Before this responsibility, I came from an organization that opened my senses to public service. One of my jobs was to listen and talk to people; sometimes, listening even to their rants and complaints to the government, to the system, and to other public servants.

We did not have targets. We did not have anything that quantifies what we do. The ones that kept us moving were the people and their overwhelming responses.

In my current job, we have dashboard. This dashboard comprises of targets and I don’t like the way they use technical aspects to quantify our job performances: number of diagnostic evaluations conducted, number of company profiles uploaded, number of product profiles prepared, number of seminars conducted, number of enterprises assisted, etc. These standards are too demotivating. 

I am that kind of person who does not give a damn with these measures. Who cares about targets anyway? I only comply because I am paid to.

If only they envision us as making an impact to the lives of our clients, they would have placed a more inspirational and a more emotionally-driven ideals. 

Being very functional does not mean being technical always. Most of the time, putting devotion and love to what you do and to the people you meet makes you more functional than those who try hard to reach the targets by any means.

If I would seriously take the dashboard, I can just make diagnostics, or fill up clients assistance forms, or could easily make profiles given the formats, or conduct seminars as many as I want to, but I never did! I would only be fooling not my supervisors, not the organization, not the people, but myself.

What good can it do to me if I perform in accordance to targets?

If only they put measures like number of smiles generated, number of confidence uplifted, number of most genuine “thank you”, quality of wisdom shared, number of people who brought back their trust to the government, number of hearts touched, and load of sentiments listened, the job would be more enriching and satisfying. These standards can never be put in our dashboard, but for me, these standards are my achievements.

The Never Delivered Letter of Intention

____ __. _______
Officer-in-Charge
___ - Sultan Kudarat
_______, Sultan Kudarat


Dear Ma'am ____:

I am writing this letter to express my humblest and purest intention not to be renewed as a Business Counselor.

Being a Business Counselor is one of the best upturn that happened to my life. But as time passes by, I realize that I become selfish of only thinking of the benefits I have acquired and will acquire through this experience. I always forget to remember who I was, when all I thought about was serving the people. Now, I only think of reaching the targets and not considering how I affect to the persons I meet everyday.

This experience has changed me a lot, and part of these changes is my continuing self pity and self depreciation. I believe that I am never competent for the career. I am less than what you expect me to be. All this time, I try to push myself to do better but every time I try harder, my heart and my mind resist the changes. My heart tells me that I am misplaced, really misplaced, in this endeavor. This is not me and this will never be me. To put it to perspective, I feel like a fish that is too ambitious to learn how to walk and breathe outside the waters.

After all, I prayed for this. To be honest, I first prayed to be part of DTI. God gave me what I prayed for and maybe this is His way of gradually exposing me to the realities of this world. That we should fit in to what skill and talent He gave us.

I am not deserving for this job. There are better persons who will really fit for this. No matter how hard I try to fix my besmirched esteem, I come to the point of falling more to the abyss of the all consuming void of my depression.

To make it clear, none of the people in our workplace contribute to this dilemma. This decision is powered by my own desire to be free of the standards I put to myself. This is my only opportunity to unleash myself with this burden I created. This is my only chance to start to love myself again.

Please help me bring back myself. Support me, Ma'am, in my decision. Thank you for understanding.


Respectfully yours,


JBA

Insecured

Early this morning, I woke up dull and exhausted. I did not know why I felt that way. Hours later, a sudden thought came to my mind: I am not good enough. I am no good at all.

This is my greatest insecurity. I am not smart. I feel like I’m always left behind by people who are far better than me. I feel alone. I always feel that I am useless. I always reach for the ideals of this society and I always fail. I envy people who succeed in whatever they undertake and I always blame myself for not doing better. I don’t even know how to do better or what’s better.

This insecurity is too much. Why do I always fall?

The Success Story of Elaine's Highland Products

The Humble Beginning

Entrepreneurship has already entered to the senses of Mrs. Roselyn D. Salazar during her early days as she had started buying and selling dry goods with her mother—one of the pioneering entrepreneurs in Masiag, Bagumbayan, Sultan Kudarat.

In 1996, she undertook financing business for farm inputs with an initial capital of 300,000 from her own equity. This project lasted for twelve years before she engaged herself into mini grocery store in 2008 with an initial capital of P1,000,000. In 2008, she merged the grocery store to her newly opened bakeshop and registered it in the name Elaine’s Bakeshop and General Merchandise.

On April 2016, she started venturing into processing and selling of organic food products with an initial capital of P100,000 that was used to invest for additional cooking equipment and pre-operating expenses such as licenses, packing supplies, and inbound logistics of raw materials. Her supplies of raw materials come from her farm at Masiag, Bagumbayan, Sultan Kudarat.

Issues and Challenges

She now concentrated on her organic products. On the early stage after the opening of her new venture, she began contracting sari-sari stores around the neighborhood. She planned to enter malls, eateries, and restaurants within Isulan and Tacurong. She also saw the need for expansion after a certain period of processing when she already could not cover some orders as she also aimed more and more sales.

Negosyo Center Intervention

Mrs. Salazar has attended a couple of seminars conducted at the Negosyo Center of Isulan. One of which was the Seminar on Costing and Pricing where she learned how to derive the cost of her products and how to use these costs to formulate a mark up enough to cover all costs and expenses. The other seminar was on Packaging and Labeling where after such, she introduced to the market her new labeled products. After the her labels were presented, she penetrated Isulan Central Plaza, Bidz Inasal, Carlitos’ Chicken, and Fitmart Tacurong.

On November of 2016, she reached out to the Negosyo Center of Isulan to make her products be included in the mounting of trade fairs in Kalimudan Festival. Fortunately, with Negosyo Center of Isulan, in partnership with the Local Government Unit of Isulan, the request was approved and it paved way for her products to be displayed at the said event. She earned more than P90,000 in this trade fair.

Aspirations

Elaine’s Bakeshop and General Merchandise will expand production plant in Isulan, Sultan Kudarat. The proposed location of the plant will be inside the idle space of the owner’s house. Mrs. Roselyn D. Salazar started to participate in the “Kapatid Mentor Me” Program by the Department of Trade and Industry last October 2016 up till December 2016 and this program has helped her formulate business improvement plan with the active assistance of the Business Counselors of Isulan assign for her.

She also plans to change the name of her entity into Elaine’s Highland Products in conformance to her newly introduced organic goods such as peanut derivatives, banana chips, turmeric, salabat, and MorTurCo (Moringa-Turmeric-Coco Sugar).

Rest assured that the Business Counselors of the Negosyo Center of Isulan will monitor her success in the coming periods.

The Biggest Irony

I love my job.

I love serving people.

I love teaching them some business stuff.

I love every time I see the smiles on their faces during and after my discussions.

The thing is... I AM TIRED!

I am tired of all the drama.

I am tired of all the papers.

I am tired of my employment status.

I am tired of the dashboards... the targets.

I am tired of all the places.

I am tired of how they hold my neck.

Too irritating.

Too suffocating.

Too stressing.

I have no idea how long can I adjust to these.

Farewell Letter for Boss

October 03, 2016

Trinidad C. Ponteres

Revenue Officer III

Bureau of Internal Revenue

Koronadal City, South Cotabato

Dear Ma’am Trining:

I am writing this letter to formally notify you, ma’am, that I am resigning from my role as your assistant. Thank you for being a part of my professional and personal growth.

For the past nine months, you have been my boss, supervisor, teacher, friend, and grandmother. You have taught things that I would embrace for the rest of my life. Nine months may not be long enough, but what matters is that I cherish every working moment I had with you.

You disciplined me how to love my job. You demonstrated me how to be patient. You showed me how to be prudent. You enlightened me with your humility. You urged me to dream higher. You prepared me to be a person worthy for a profession.

Thank you for your patience and understanding. Thank you for your love and support. Thank you for your unwavering belief. Thank you for your encouragement. ‘Thank you’ is not even enough to express my gratitude for you, but believe me, my simplest ‘thank you’ sums up all my appreciation and gratefulness that once in my life, there is one Ma’am Trining who guided me.

This is not goodbye, not even an end of a beautiful book: this is just the beginning of a new chapter.

You are and will always be my Ma’am Trining. God bless you, Ma’am.

Truly yours,

(signed) Jo

What now?

Now I'm torn between "moving forward" and "fighting harder".  I really do not know what to do or where to go. I do not even know what's the pros and cons between the two.