Torments Quietly Uttered

I miss my old self; the happy and motivated me.
Why do I always feel like this?
For no freaking reason
I'm feel empty... unhappy.

I have my family, friends
Good life (Good career)
Everything is fine [.] [?]

BUT I feel unsatisfied
...Monotonous
...Empty
...Frustrated.

Everything seems pointless.
Do I even deserve to feel like this,
When there are others who have bigger problems than I have?

It's rather funny
Not deserving to be given attention,
Not even worthy to bother others.

So why bother continue?
It's the same ending.
It won't make any difference if I do it earlier, right?

I would even do the world a favor.

No use of existing if I'm not living it,
So it's okay to resolve to cutting, right?
No one will notice anyway.
This cuts will alleviate the pain.

This freaking unexplainable pain
Will calm the surging waves.

Jumping right away would definitely do the trick.
No one will notice.

Even if I disappear
No one will care.