Last semester is my worst so far. I do not have any plans to experience it again for the rest of my college years... Once is enough. I already have to suffer additional year to cope for my major subject and I don’t think adding one or more is a good idea.
I did not give my best (I admit) - the result? Flunk. Now, I am having a hard time reconstructing my plans… or say, finding any reasons out there to move on.
Well, I think I’ll do better this semester (This is faith. haha). But also, I know I will take lots of adjustments. I will not care what other people will say. I’ll be more carefree I guess.
To be strict somehow, I am filing myself a full semester sanction… (This may not look like a sanction). This is not mainly to punish myself but a self-realization that what I did most last semester gave no good to me. This is an attempt to reverse those negative habits. Take this:
I must go home earlier.
Last semester for some unimportant unremembered reasons, I stay longer outside than staying home. Maybe this time I need to cut more of my time outdoors.
I must save money.
I don’t have savings. For many times I planned to, but still until now I spend more and more. I need to save for more important expenses.
I must not watch television.
This is one of the hardest things to do. Last semester, I was an avid fanatic of a television fantasy drama. This was I think one of the factors why I spent lesser in reading my notes. I promise not to be affected by this media again. Exceptions: if academics require.
I must not use the netbook.
This is, I think the major reason (a material reason) why I did not have enough in my studies. Last year my father bought me a netbook because some of my subjects required it. I thought it would be better for me to use this medium to further my knowledge in my majors but I got other things, it furthered my knowledge in the beauty of other sciences; furthered my knowledge about the things I loved to know not about the things I ought to. So now, I prohibit myself to use my netbook other than of academics purposes.
I must not quit.
This is inherent in me, I guess. Even if I’ll not include it here, still I can remember this always. This motivation is not only for me but also for the ones who love me and whom I love. This is just saying that I need to be more determined and I truly must persevere.
I must pray very often.
There are times when I forget to trust Him. There are times that I do not see the signs of Him around me. I must appreciate the things He wants me to see… Then I will sing my heart with thanksgiving.
I must not cheat.
This is the vastest disease I’ve known in the world. Every institution has this kind of malady. I really need to control this one in my part. As a person, I do believe in individual efforts. I need trust myself that I can do things that other people can, and that is to work on my own.
I must be patient.
They say patience is not the ability to wait but the ability to understand things even though you’re already annoyed. I sometimes want to understand people when they are doing things which are unappealing to other people. I guess I also need extra patience in dealing with assignments and other unsolved problems.
I must have enough time to rest.
This one has constraints in the aim of increasing the efforts to study. I think the key here is proper time management.
I must be careful in my words.
As a person who is capable to understand and is capable to speak out the things I want and the things which I don’t, I also must be careful in delivering my opinion. In that way I can gain good personal relationships with respect.
I must stop any intimate feelings with the once I fancy.
Only I knows how much I love and care for her. But sometimes I only think of her more than what I ought to do. I must teach my heart not to be over reacting about how I feel.
I must be humble.
I must not boast. Pride will not make me a better person.
This is just a self-manifestation that I am willing to change for the better. How I study, my IQ, and my reading materials are not the problems here because I know I am smart; I know I can pass any hard quizzes and examinations; I know I’m doing right about it. The problem here self-discipline… (I do not have any). How I act outside academics greatly affects my performance as a student. And that’s the lesson I learned in this experience.
Somehow I’m thankful for the extended year. I think it’s a new reason to strive harder because I now have longer years to prepare for bigger battles outside the university. I’ll be more ready for sure.
